


it's my fault, it's my fault.

by ghostlypastries



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anarchist TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Angst, Badass TommyInnit, Clementine Is Tommy's Daughter, DadInnit, Demigod TommyInnit, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Fluff and Angst, Goddesses, Hybrid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), IF YOU CAME HERE FOR SMUT FUCK YOU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, MotherInnit Clara, NO SMUT!! ITS JUST THE TRAUMA FROM THE RAPE, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Raccooninnit, Running Away, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Harm, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, Trans Male Character, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, dream be like haha i have the power over u, if you don't like it suck my ass, not in the oo haha smut way, tommy be like :| no, tommy be like aha fuck you hug me, tubbo be like aha exile wait no i miss u, ya nasty fucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:54:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlypastries/pseuds/ghostlypastries
Summary: after being exiled by his best friend, tommy has to put up with months of dream's shit. his mother gives him the strength to put an end to this needless torture.(the r*pe is never described whatsoever, all that's mentioned is the trauma it causes tommy! if you came here for some smut, fuck off.)
Relationships: Ew Hell No, No Romantic Relationship(s), That's Nasty - Relationship
Comments: 34
Kudos: 486





	1. space.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this chapter is a bit shorter than the others will be due to it being the introduction, and it's a little all over the place, so sorry about that. i hope you enjoy! :D
> 
> clara is inspired by @/Aarky ! make sure to check out their stories please, i loved them a lot and if you like this i'm sure you'll enjoy their works too!

There was still ugly plumes of gray smoke billowing up from the remaining ground, and the scent of ash filled his lungs with an ugly, sharp pain. Pain was all he ever seemed to feel these days.

Tommy's eyes watered, but he refused to let the tears fall as he stared at the smouldering crater that had once been Logsteadshire. Where Dream had took off raging after leaving Tommy's battered body next to the pit. The boy shuddered, wrapping his arms around himself lightly as the breeze blew past.

A year ago, he might have enjoyed this. A break from L'manburg, where he didn't have to worry about his discs or Dream watching him through the windows of his home, gloved hands twitching at the thought of getting the loud child alone.

Now all it did was leave him feeling cold and empty, as he stared up at the night sky. The stars were something Tommy could always take comfort in, because no matter where he was, the stars would follow him. The night sky wouldn't abandon him, not like evryone else had, and it always eased his running mind.

It would be so lovely up there, he thinks as his hands fall to his sides, scratching at the skin of his palms harshly. Tommy wanted to fly, he wanted to live among the stars, away from the sorrows of war, the horror of Dream. 

Maybe, just maybe, it was his time to die. Who was around to stop him, anyways? Even Dream was gone. And he knew the older would be back, probably the next day, but the thought only fueled Tommy's anxiety. However, the truth was, that unless Dream said something, nobody would know that Tommy was dead.

...maybe Ranboo would as well. He comes to visit Tommy as often as possible, no matter how cruel he or Dream is. The thought of the Hybrid helps settle the churning waves in his stomach, and the blonde sighs.

He sighs, and he starts building up, more enthusiastic than he's been in months. There's no worry of Dream coming back, of him pulling Tommy away from the sweet release of death, there's no one left that would care that he was gone.

When he finally looks up, away from the ground he's been placing at his feet, the boy gasps, and a rare smile graces his features. The stars are so much closer than before, and he's well above the clouds. The air is thin, but for some reason the lack of oxygen doesn't even effect him.

As the blonde boy whispers fond goodbyes, to people who would never feel as found about him as he did them, something shifts. The air is crisper, fresher, and the sky rumbles with thunder. He can feel her presence before he sees her, a woman that was tucked away deep in his memories, almost forgotten had it not been for the beautiful melody of his disc.

"Thomas." Tommy turns around, greeted the sight of a gorgeous woman walking along the sky, with long, light hair that matches his own and sparkling eyes that glow like the stars. She is smiling softly, and smells so strongly of home Tommy can barely choke back a sob.

"Hello, Mum." He furiously blinks black tears, rubbing at his eyes as she steps towards him and gently cups his cheek with her hand, brushing away the wetness slipping down his cheek with her thumb.

"You can't jump, Thomas. You can't end it yet. You are going to be the one to save this world, darling. They need you." Words that had been whispered to him so many years ago, that he had forgotten, told to him once more in a tone so loving Tommy breaks into sobs.

His mother holds him gently, rubbing his back like she used to do when he was younger, and Tommy hasn't felt this safe since he was just a little kid. She pulls away after a moment of silence, and he almost starts crying again, but she's wrapping something around him nd fastening it near his neck, and he looks down in confusion.

A cape, one that had the softest, warmest fur on the inside and showed the stars dancing in the night sky on the out. He feels warmer already, and part of him screams that he looks fucking cool. Tommy can't help the grin that forces its way onto his face when he notices the clip is Mellohi, and his mother smiles back.

But she reaches her hand out and places it on his shoulder, and her smile slowly fades. She closes her eyes, and her skin glows brighter than he's ever seen it before, and he panics when he realizes his shoulder is glowing, too.

There's a burst of energy and strength, one he's only felt once before, that only faded once he was shot in the head by that bastard. It rushes through his body, and he feels lightheaded. His mother pulls away, smiling wryly, and he quirks a brow at her.

"You're a lot stronger than you think, little raccoon." He bares his canines at that, and Clara laughs softly. She runs her hands through his hair, gently untangling all the knots, and she hums thoughtfully.

"First things first, you're going to take a bath. Then you're going to find a set of clothes on the ground, and you're going to change into them, because you look like a mess, Thomas." Tommy huffs in annoyance, of course he looks like a fucking mess, what did she expect? "And then you will go back to L'Manburg, and you will inform them that you are leaving." He opens his mouth to protest, but his mother quickly shuts him down with a raised hand.

"I'll be with you. If he tries anything, you know i can kick his ass, Thomas." And his own mischievious grin is thrown at him, on the face of his mom, and Tommy can't help but laugh breathlessly.

"Okay, okay. Whatever you say, mum." She runs her eyes over his bony, shaky form for a moment, before clicking her tongue in confusion.

"Thomas... you're pregnant?"

The blonde's entire world comes crashing down around him.  
  
  


Some hours later, after his mother's comforting, Tommy has embraced the idea of being pregnant. Tommy knows what it is to be an unwanted child, and he could never do that to his baby, even if they aren't capable of knowing. He just can't.

He walks until he finds a small lake in the woods, near where Logsteadshire once was, and he bathes like his mother told him to. He hates the water, can't shake the feeling that he's going to fall asleep and drown, but he scrubs his skin and hair clean and scrambles out onto the bank.

Like Clara said, there is a small stack of neatly folded clothes on a dry clump of ground. When Tommy lifts them up to examine them, he's pleased to find a red turtleneck sweater and black jeans, and even a pair of sweet boots. He yells up at the sky, thanking his mom, before shimmying into his binder and the clothing, finishing it off with his cape.

Tommy grins at his reflection in the water, and even though he is skin and bones and looks as though he hasn't slept once in his life, this is the most fucking awesome he's ever looked.

Whatever his mother had done, poured her strength into him or some shit, it hasn't faded, and he's not entirely sure it will. That, and the fact that he has the stars on his side, makes Tommy feel brave.

So he begins the long trek to L'Manburg, staring down at his glowing compass and following the little red needle, cooing at his stomach a few times and humming to himself at others.

Tommy's never been more anxious, but a deep part of him knows he can do this.

That's what he keeps telling himself, anyways.


	2. goodbyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SUCK IT GREEN BOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy strides through the community house without running into anybody, and for a moment he lets himself believe this may be easier than he originally thought it would be.

For a moment, until he steps out, and directly across from him stand Dream and Tubbo, probably talking about land or some another annoying politician shit that Tommy could never bring himself to care about, even when he was vice president. The two haven't noticed him yet, and it isn't too late to back out, to turn around and leave without another word.

He wants to so, so badly, it would be so much easier if they didn't know he was running, Dream might think him dead and not try to chase him around the world like Tommy _knows_ he will, but something inside of him sets, and he knows he can't.

So Tommy take a deep breath, praying to his mother and whatever other random fucking gods that existed (or didn't, tommy doesn't fucking know), before he very loudly and slightly awkwardly clears his throat.

Tommy looks at Tubbo, who's staring at him in shock, and purposefully ignoring the way Dream's eyes crawl along his figure, suppressing the shudder that wants to wrack throught his body. He's not going to give this green fucker the satisfaction.

"Tommy?" The boy almost flinches, because he can _hear_ the hurt in Tubbo's voice, and part of him is angry. Tubbo exiled him, willingly, and now he's gonna act all sad after not visiting him once for an entire year? The other, bigger part of him, already let go of his negative feelings towards the president long ago. And he's too focused on Dream to think too much about it, so it doesn't matter anyways.

"Tommy, you know you can't be here." Now his eyes are focused on Dream, and he just knows the prick is smirking behind that stupid fucking mask, eager to see Tommy suffer even more, eager to cause that suffering, but Tommy is feeling brave, and he scoffs.

"Relax, dickwad. I'm just here to let you know I'm leaving." Now Dream is laughing, that disgusting wheeze that Tommy has heard so many times, usually in the dark of the night as he was crying, pleading with Dream to just _stop, stop-_

He forces the unpleasent memories away and swallows the bile that's trying to force it's way up his throat. He waits patiently until Dream is done cackling, watches his old friend out of the corner of his eye, who looks nervous and scared and so much older than Tommy remembers him being.

"You can't leave, Tommy, you're exiled! Where exactly do you think you'll be going?" And Tommy smirks at his words, forcing himself to be brave. He has to leave, and he needs to make sure Dream won't follow him, and his mom is going to help him. Tommy will leave, he will protect and nurture the life growing inside of him, far away from these horrid lands filled with terrible people. 

"I'm leaving the lands of Essempi, so it shouldn't be a problem." He feels his lip curl slightly, and his voice is filled with something almost like amusement. He can see Tubbo's eyes widen, but he ignores it.

"No, Tommy, you're not." Now Dream sounds cold, and this is a tone Tommy's heard often, but he won't curl away from the harshness this time. He can feel the rage radiating off Dream, can almost smell it, and his ear twitches nervously.

"Surely it's not a problem as long as he stays away from here, though, right?" Tubbo cuts in, and he sounds almost confused. Of course he'd be, why would Dream want Tommy to stick around when he was so adament of ridding himself and everyone else from the boy? 

"I wasn't fucking asking for your permission, prick." Dream takes a step towards him, and Tommy unconciously takes a step back, clutching at his stomach with one hand and digging his fingers into the soft fabric of his cape with the other. 

"Don't talk to me like that, Toms." The nickname sounds sickly sweet in his manipulative tone, so sweet it makes Tommy sick, because all that ever comes with that name is pain, pain and loss. He growls sharply, and Dream seems almost surprised.

"What's happening?" Tommy blocks Tubbo's voice out, he wasn't a part of this, didn't deserve to know what was going on. Suddenly Dream lunged at him, and he practically flew backwards, flinching before a resounding _BOOM_ thunders around him, and he opens his eyes just in time to catch the flash of lightning that barely misses Dream, and Tommy relaxes only slightly.

Clara is on his side, and Dream can't win this battle.

Dream and Tubbo are both in shock, staring at the lightning and then back at Tommy, but as always the little green bitch is quick to recover and moves to strike again.

The sky rumbles, and Tommy's cape flutters behind him as the sky quickly turns grayer and grayer, plummeting them into darkness. There's somesort of flaming rock, raining down from it, placing itself between him and the other two as thunder roars out once more.

Tommy's smirk graces his features once more, as he catchesthe sight of Dream's fists clenching in unbridled rage. Tubbo's practically shaking, repeating _what, what?_ over and over again.

"My mum's calling for me, so I must take my leave. Goodbye, Tubbo. Tell Ranboo that I'll miss him, alright big man?"

Tommy turns, and just yesterday he would've given into his urges to run, to sprint away as fast as he possibly could until he's no energy left, but today Tommy just walks.

He walks away from his friends, his enemies, his bench, his Tubbo, his tormenter, the source of all of his pain, his family.

Tommy walks away from his home.

He doesn't stop walking for days, no matter how hungry he feels or how he just wants lay down. Tommy doesn't stop until the villagers he comes across are speaking an unfamiliar language, and Tommy finally allows himself to rest.

The town he stops at is cozy and warm, and he can hear people laughing joyously from a mile away. It feels like it would be a nice place to stay, and he locates an inn pretty quickly. The lady behind the counter radiates kindness, and in a way it almost reminds him of Niki, though he quickly finds the two are nothing alike.

The woman has fading purple hair, dark makeup and a heavy accent, but she speaks his language, which make's Tommy's life so much easier.

"Woah, what the fuck? You look like shit, kid!" Her tone is slightly worried, but Tommy scoffs at the words. Yeah, definitely nothing like Niki. She seems nice enough, though.

"Well hello to you too, prick." He grumbles, fishing a few ingots out of his pockets and placing them on the counter. "Is this enough for a few nights?"

It's the last of his resources, Dream blew everything else up, but it's enough to get him about a week at this place, and that's enough for Tommy. 

"So, what's your name, kid?" The lady asks as she sets a sandwich in front of him, and he stares at the food with a gleam in his eye before finally turning his attention back to her. She sits impatiently, hands on her hips, and Tommy is certain they're going to be great friends.

"Theseus. Who the fuck are you?" And she grins at him as he digs into the sandwich. "Theseus? What kind of nerd shit is that?" Tommy shoots a glare but doesn't grace her with a response, and she hums.

"I'm Minx."

Tommy snorts.

"And you made fun of my name."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUCK IT GREEN BOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
> 
> seriously though, i appreciate all the nice comments and all you guys for reading this, you make my day and ily <33


	3. not an update

writers block is kicking my ass right now, i'll update a bunch when i can :)


End file.
